A Christmas COL by Charter's Dissins

[XLFD]

All apologies to Charles Dickens and his Christmas classic, "A Christmas Carol".  This rewriting is dedicated to all concerned citizens shut out of the workings of their governments whether it be their townships, Cities, Counties, Parishes, States or Federal, because they dare keep the spirit of the founding fathers and open governments in their hearts.  "COL" stands for City of Ludington, the government of this blessed city.  The parts of Councilor nemesis, XLFD, and the three spirits, in this carol is the same actor.  The parts of the Council is played by seven tremendously gifted actors, the Ludington City Council, while the part of John Shay is played by a tremendously gifted thespian found in a diligent search of a chamberpot.

Prologue:

"A merry Christmas, Council! God save you!" cried a cheerful voice. It was the voice of the Council's nemesis who came upon them so quickly that this was the first intimation they had of his approach.

"Bah!" said Councilor Castonia, "Humbug!"

He had so heated himself with rapid walking in the fog and frost, this nemesis of the Council, that he was all in a glow; his face was ruddy and handsome; his eyes sparkled, and his breath smoked again.

"Christmas a humbug, Council?!" said the Council's nemesis. "You don't mean that, I am sure."

"I do," said Councilor Holman. "Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough."

"Come, then," returned the nemesis gaily. "What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You're rich enough."

Councilor Taranko, having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment, said "Bah!" again; and followed it up with "Humbug."

"Don't be cross, Council!" said the nemesis.

Stave 1:  X Warns of Spirits

"Hear me!" cried XLFD. "My five minutes is nearly gone."

"I will," said Councilor Marrison. "But don't be hard upon me! Don't be flowery, X! Pray!"

"How it is that I appear before you in a shape that you can see, I may not tell. I have talked invisible before you many and many a day."

It was not an agreeable idea. Councilor Tykoski shivered, and wiped the perspiration from his brow.

"That is no light part of my penance," pursued XLFD. "I am here to-night to warn you, that you have yet a chance and hope of escaping your fate, Councilors."

"You were always a good employee for us," said Manager Shay. "Thank `ee!"

"You will be haunted," resumed the Ghost, "by Three suits Spirits."

Shay's countenance fell almost as low as the citizen's had done.

"Is that the chance and hope you mentioned, XLFD?" Councilor Rathsack demanded, in a faltering voice.

"It is."

"I -- I think I'd rather not," said Councilor Johnson.

"Without their visits," said XLFD, "you cannot hope to shun the path you'll tread.

Stave 2:  The First of the Three Spirits-- the Past

"Who, and what are you?" the Council demanded.

"I am the Ghost of Councilor's Past."

"Long Past?" inquired the Council.

"No. Your past."

"What business brings you here?"

"Your welfare," said the Ghost.

It put out its strong hand as it spoke, and clasped them gently by the arm.

"Rise. And walk with me."

Thus begins the public comment section of Ludington's 12-17-2012 meeting based on the past five years of City Hall's behavior, 2:25 in, and printed below:

I'm Tom Rotta, Merry Christmas from Dowland Street.

Before I get into the substance of my complaints, let me reflect that my fellow citizen Tom Tyron, whom I think is an upstanding citizen in his own right with good ideas, was right in that Ludington should consider the actions of Grand Rapids among several other cities who have chosen in recent years to lower the water and sewer rates. The citizens can use some relief from the large increases made in 2009 with rates now keyed to only positive inflation rates. But in the City's defense, when you actually compare the water and sewer rates of Grand Rapids and Ludington, we still have the better deal at this point. That's good and what you might expect from our City on a fresh water lake.

But I have been following the political scene in Ludington since 2008, and what have I seen. I have seen my country, my state, and my City fall into hard times. A sympathetic City Hall should realize that the citizenry have it rough, and tighten their belts along with their constituency. Has this happened?

No; since 2008, the City has only raised taxes and fees, often holding special truth in taxation hearings during the summer to avoid mandated Headlee rollbacks of the millage rates. They raised the water rate for citizens by 19% for 2010 alone. Never did they lower any taxes or fees, never did they abolish any taxes or fees. Never. They raised them very often in that time, made new fees and taxes. Yet the City services that we get from our increased burden forced upon us, either have remained the same or diminished.

We will waste over $2 million on one painting of our two water towers and one water tank more than ten years before they need such care, and the building of useless, unsafe transient docks where someone died this summer.

The pay rates of City workers continue to rise, the City Councilors just last meeting exempted City administrative workers from state health care reforms, and the benefits administrative city workers receive are over 50% of their inflated salaries. The City attorney office gets a $3000 raise tonight, but you would not see this broadcast to the citizens before today.

And they will enjoy the holidays. Even though the days of Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve are not recognized by the Federal or State governments as legal holidays, nor is any mention of these days in the city code or charter, City Hall enjoys these days off and seeing the taxpayers who have to work on those days help pay for that regal privilege.

Furthermore, in the ordinances the City Council have passed since 2008, you can look through them all and find none that increase the rights and freedoms of the Ludington citizens, none, just plenty that diminish those rights and freedoms. Whether City Officials need to come into your house and check your plumbing without reason or warrant at any time, or banish you from a public facility without any regard to the many liberties guaranteed all Americans in the Bill of Rights-- this Council has enacted legislation to do just that and plenty more. They even have the gall to tell you how you can feed your cat on your property.

But this is our last meeting of the year, so before we get to 2013, I will restrict myself for going back only to the beginning of this year knowing full well that my Mayor will quell my words at the 5 minute mark, and I won't be able to get through but a fraction of what has made this City Hall derelict in its duties to the citizens this year.

I started the year finding out that the City Manager, the Planning Committee, Downtown Ludington Board, etc. all felt they did not ever need to take the State mandated oath of office. This means they are basically free to pursue their own personal interests over the public interest. And this has been shown over and over to be the case, particularly with all those business owners on the Downtown Ludington Board and John Shay. I then looked at the City's usual dependence on the Prein & Neuhoff firm for engineering services without any competitive bids for all projects not overlooked by the State, and wondered why the Washington Avenue Bridge project engineering contract was not given to local Nordlund & Associates when their bid came in almost four times less than the Fishbeck firm.

Throughout the year, I found that the City Manager often ignored the City Code's insistence of competitive bids, nor did they utilize any reasonable established criteria for choosing winners when they did...

And even though he had three paragraphs more to speak of, the first spirits time was up... Mayor Pro Tem Councilor Taranko said so.

Stave 3:  The Second of the Three Spirits-- the Present

"You have never seen the like of me before!" exclaimed the Spirit.

"Never," Councilor Castonia made answer to it.

"Have never walked forth with the younger members of my family; meaning (for I am very young) my elder brothers born in these later years?" pursued the Phantom.

"I don't think I have," said Councilor Marrison. "I am afraid I have not. Have you many brothers, Spirit?"

"More than eight thousand," said the Ghost.  "This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writings be disclosed. Deny it!" cried the Spirit, stretching out its hand towards the city. "Slander those who question it ye. Admit it for your factious purposes, and make it worse. And abide the end."

Thus begins the FOIA Appeal of Ludington's 12-17-2012 meeting, previously related, told in detail here.

Thus, after Council's slander, denial, and making matters worse, the second spirit had to go...

Stave 4:  The Last of the Spirits

"I am in the presence of the Ghost of Councilors Yet To Come?" said Councilor Rathsack.

The Spirit answered not, but pointed downward with its hand.

"You are about to show me shadows of the things that have not happened, but will happen in the time before us," Councilor Taranko pursued. "Is that so, Spirit?"

The upper portion of the garment was contracted for an instant in its folds, as if the Spirit had inclined its head. That was the only answer he received.

And before the councilors the future of the City of Ludington was played before them: investigations, lost lawsuits, scandals of all proportions due to the lack of any oversight, the City in shambles and previously unreported debt not because of its good people or of all of the area's inherent resources, but ruined solely because of the avarice, ignorance, and corruption of its officials, in particular, those imported from other areas.  The legacy of each official tainted by their negligence, greed, and lack of compassion for those they served.

"Spirit!" the Councilors cried, tight clutching at its robe, "hear me. We are not the people we were. We will not be the people we must have been but for this intercourse. Why show us this, if we are past all hope?"

For the first time the hand appeared to shake.

"Good Spirit," they pursued, as down upon the ground they fell before it: "Your nature intercedes for us, and pities us. Assure us that we yet may change these shadows you have shown us, by an altered public life."

The kind hand trembled.

"We will honour Ludington in our heart, and try to keep our oath all the year.  We will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within us. We will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me we may sponge away the writing on this stone!"

In their agony, they caught the spectral hand. It sought to free itself, but they were strong in their entreaty, and detained it. The Spirit, stronger yet, repulsed him.

Holding up their hands in a last prayer to have their fate reversed, they saw an alteration in the Phantom's hood and dress. It shrunk, collapsed, and dwindled down into a jack-o-lantern.

It is unknown how this story will end in Stave 5; will it be a happy ending, where the Council is imbued with the spirit of honorable public service, thereby reducing the shackles of their past, or will they consider their lesson as a humbug, apparitions brought on by a bit of improperly digested food, or a nightmare without any meaning in the conscious world.   We can only hope they consider it the former.  God bless us, every one.

[Willy]

Wonderful piece of writing X. I enjoyed it.

[XLFD]

Definitely inspired by the classic Christmas story, which used to be remade at least once each year in the plots of TV series, adapted one more time for the sit-com that is Ludington City Hall 2012.

[XLFD]

I've been reading the full story of Dicken's creation to my charges over the last week which I tried to conform the above fanciful tale to.  In Dicken's own words he has the following references to the Torch, which the ghost of Christmas present refers to and carries.  In Charles' own words: 

"The sight of these poor revellers appeared to interest the Spirit very much, for he stood with Scrooge beside him in a baker's doorway, and taking off the covers as their bearers passed, sprinkled incense on their dinners from his torch. And it was a very uncommon kind of torch, for once or twice when there were angry words between some dinner-carriers who had jostled each other, he shed a few drops of water on them from it, and their good humour was restored directly.... "Is there a peculiar flavour in what you sprinkle from your torch?" asked Scrooge.  "There is. My own."

In an ironic twist, I went sliding again yesterday and sprained my ankle, so I now am going about like Tiny Tim.