Goodbye, L'ton John

[XLFD]

(Start up the video above while you read the amended lyrics below, a tribute to Ludington Mayor John Henderson)

 

Goodbye Mayor John

Though I knew you a little bit, yet flawed

You had the grace to cover things up

While those around you hemmed and hawed.

 

 

 

Scandals crawled out of your last terms

And they didn't phase you none at all

They had you create more Ludington events

And hide corruption behind Tye's ball.
And it seems to me your political life

Was like a badger in a trap

Never knowing whether to struggle

Or throw out a load of crap.

 

And I would have liked to see records

Of just what you have done

The evidence was held back long before

A fourth term that was never won.

 

 
You lost touch with the people

Spent their money on water towers

Transient docks and pet projects

And not public services as per your powers.

 

Even when two drowned

Due to your dock and change of mind

All the COLD News had to say

Was that John was indeed a rare find.
And it seems to me your political life

Was like a badger in a trap

Never knowing whether to struggle

Or throw out a load of crap.

 

And I would have liked to see records

Of just what you have done

The evidence was held back long before

A fourth term that was never won.

 

 

 

Goodbye Mayor John

Though I knew you a little bit, yet flawed

You had the grace to cover things up

While those around you hemmed and hawed.
Goodye L'ton John

And the new mayor is a much slender one

Who seems to think your corruption was a myth

More so than Honorable John Henderson.

 

 
And it seems to me your political life

Was like a badger in a trap

Never knowing whether to struggle

Or throw out a load of crap

And I would have liked to see records

Of just what you have done

The evidence was held back long before

A fourth term that was never won.
And I would have liked to have seen you

As admirable as you think you are

The Ludington Torch showed long before

Your legend is sub-par.

 

[AQUAMAN]

Hey, I used to like that song alot. Not any more now since the Hendy version is out, lol.

[XLFD]

Hey, just remember the occasion during which this version was released, and Ludington was released (at least a little bit) from the Johnster.  Then you'll appreciate the song even more.   

[Willy]

That's darned funny X. I especially like the reference to a trapped badger.

[XLFD]

What was especially tempting was the "cling to" expression in the original song near that point, and not converting it into "Clingan" for the adaptation to commemorate his Honor.  I didn't want to dilute the tribute.

[XLFD]

"Costumely", "prototypal", "puerile", "jejune" all in the first two sentences-- someone got a thesaurus this Christmas.  I believe "protypal" was not the word you thought it was, and you will have to tell me what "costumely" has as a definition because I have checked all my sources, unabridged dictionary and websites, and only found this fashion blogsite:  Costumely.  May you have meant the noun "contumely", at risk of being found contumely.

Be that as it may, if you haven't figured it out already, I base my low impression of Mayor John Henderson on what he has actually done, the content of his character, and how neither is in the best interest of the general citizens of Ludington.  The two other articles I wrote at the end of last year on the mayor explain a little as to why.  Feel free to argue against those, this is just a satirical piece in the spirit of Mad Magazine.  I'm sorry it didn't connect with you.

Mayor Ryan Cox starts out with a clean slate, but I will challenge him in the upcoming years to fight what I see as corruption and negligence on behalf of the rest of my city's government. 

[XLFD]

Mad Magazine and The Onion should be on your reading list; general and political satire develops a healthy outlook for life and a vaster sense of humor. 

"Why do you do it?  Nothing changes. Nothing gets better..." 

I could ask the same of you.  You know-- or at least fail to comment on-- what obvious is illegal, unethical or immoral behavior by your government, and wind up often being an apologist for the bad behavior.  A conclusion may be that your support of such behavior is lucrative for you, or you just have a fatalist streak. 

I have sworn to defend the Constitution of the United States (and Michigan) on several occasions while working at various jobs.  I know many officials of the City of Ludington have broken that covenant after swearing their oath.  I find that repugnant, and I have made it a high priority of mine to address such malfeasance. 

[Willy]

X

I'm going to be very curious as to whether Mr. Cox will contact you or talk to you after a Council meeting to get another side of the story as to how things are going with City politics. By now he's gotten an ear full about you so let's see if he asks you if what he has heard is true.

[XLFD]

I'm similarly curious, and wonder if he has did his homework on the city charter and the recent trends often chronicled here in a different manner than presented elsewhere.  Ryan Cox definitely has more formal education than Mayor Henderson, and might be able to distinguish facts for himself, and have the skeptical curiosity to ask me or the City Manager for clarifications. 

We'll find out soon enough.

[XLFD]

Even funnier than Andy Griffith (which isn't a satire) is a Looney Tunes cartoon I caught at a waiting room just earlier today that is a satirical view of local politics.  This described here is some funny stuff: 

A group of firefighters rush to Daffy's residence, where he asks for help opening a tuna can. When one of them questions Daffy calling 911, Daffy notes that he called Bugs, Tina, and Porky before resorting to 911. Upon hearing this, the firefighers do not help, seeing it as a minor problem.

On a basketball court, Daffy talks to Porky about how the firefighters charged him money for them arriving at his house, and Porky tells him that he called them when he had no real emergency. Daffy insists they were valid, then flashes back to the "emergencies" he had. Porky informs Daffy that their emergency services are underfunded and overextended because property taxes are not high enough, then reveals that he is a part of the city council and is finishing up his third term. Daffy is amazed by this and asks why he never knew this, so Porky goes on a bit of a rant, only for Daffy to fall asleep from boredom

The next day at the basketball court, Porky discusses Daffy going around town claiming they are friends to get special treatment and in return having Porky treat them specially, such as name a street after someone or throwing a parade. Porky then claims such treatment is unethical and would make him look like he could be bribed, so Daffy assures him that it will not happen again. They then gather at Pizzariba, where Porky sees one of Daffy's attack ads, which is to make Porky look like a corrupted official. Daffy admits that he is only running for city council so he can use his name to get special perks instead of using Porky's name, then plans another attack ad.  Daffy wins the election.

Meanwhile, Daffy attends a city council meeting, where Granny files a complaint about the numbers on her curb and trying to paint over it. An uninterested Daffy questions the meeting's duration, worrying about if he will make it home in time to watch an Off Duty Cop marathon. The official beside him states that the meetings typically run for five hours, with some of them lasting longer. Granny continues by discussing the paint the city uses for addresses, much to Daffy's boredom. As the meeting continues on for hours, Granny concludes her speech, but the meeting continues when they discuss whether to install speed bumps or speed humps. When they ask Daffy for his thoughts on the situation, he loses his patience and states that he has other things to do, then drives home.

Daffy and Porky meet at Pizzarriba, where Daffy describes having to sit through the meeting, which he found pointless. He then questions how much longer he has to tolerate the meetings, so Porky states that one term is four years long, making Daffy upset about all the meetings he will have to endure. Porky receives a shocking video on his phone, which is of Daffy going ballistic during the meeting. While Porky is not looking forward to Daffy's consequences, Daffy himself is. After Speedy notes that he saw that video, Daffy gets on the table and announces that he will accept being kicked out of office. Speedy and the other diners, however, commend Daffy for his outburst and claim he should be in forever, then Speedy discusses with Daffy where he can expand his restaurant, much to Daffy's anger. 

Later at city hall, Daffy attends another meeting and gets a surprise visitor, Porky. He discusses "Prop 14," which is to make Daffy's seat on city council permanent because of his overwhelming popularity. Unwilling to be in city council forever, Daffy decides to fake his own death by driving his parade float off a bridge and into a river. Porky agrees to serve the remainder of Daffy's term, then plans out where to place the speed bumps and speed humps.