Sewer Bills w/ Bling Costly

[XLFD]

A longstanding Christmas tradition around the Ludington Torch is to engage in a little political satire by associating our bleak political plight with themes from the yuletide holiday. In the past, we ruined "Away in a Manger" by giving it a Ludington theme: John Shay as a Manager. we mangled the night before Christmas (Twas the Night Before Christmas in Ludington), twisted Charles Dickens classic (A Christmas COL), totally disrupted O Little Town of Bethlehem (O City Council Ludington), and realigned the twelve days of Christmas (The Twelve Days of Ludington Christmas). We turned "The Little Drummer Boy" upside down into The Ludville Plumber Boy to illustrate the lead problem of Ludington in 2016, updated that in 2017 to a spin-off of 'Good King Winceslas', introducing the new and disproved, Lead Queen Winczewski.

We stay close to that theme in this year's offering, but we add a couple of new twists in ruining another holiday favorite most people associate with Bing Crosby, "Silver Bells".  At Christmas in 2015, if you lived in Ludington, your sewer bill for usage was $1.77 per 100 cubic foot of water you used.  On this last New Year's Day, it jumped up to $2.99, that's a 69% increase in just a two year period.  This cost is to help cover the costs of improvements just to get the wastewater treatment plant (WWTP) up to the state's minimal standards and keep them there for at least the four years before the next permit is issued.

During this massive hike period, the City unexpectedly was inundated for a couple months by a strong odor originating from the WWTP, a problem eventually mitigated by the purchase of a special system to cover the odor and agreed-upon limits of BOD waste to be released with a local manufacturer of ice cream.  The reworking of the lyrics touches upon the reminiscence of that time period, when Ludington residents often felt like they were back in the trenches during World War 1.  Please enjoy this holiday masterpiece-converted-into-a-local-parody!  Sewer Bills as sung by Bling Costly.  Be sure to sing along with the music.

Sewer Bills, Sewer Bills,
It's payment time to the City
Lud-ing-ton (Lud-ing-ton) read them stunned (costs-a-ton)
Soon it will be shut-off day

City's high costs very high costs
'Dressed to my residence
In the air there's an odor of backups
Children hushing, people flushing
Treatment plant's acting up
And on every street corner you sense

Sewer smells (sewer smells) sewer smells (sewer smells)
It's gas mask time in the City
Lud-ing-ton (Lud-ing-ton)
Time to run (time to run)
Soon we'll be driv-en away

Tens of millions, debts a-piling
Doublin' my sewer bill
As the city catches up with their neglect
Add the numbers, call the plumbers
But you can't disconnect
Cause then you'd be breakin' city law

Sewer Bills (A coronary to cause)
Sewer Smells (A treatment plant with flaws)
It's payment time in the City
Lud-ing-ton (It fills the winter air)
Stink-en-ing (You smell it everywhere)
Soon it will be shut-off day

City's high costs, very high costs
'Dressed to my residence
In the air there's an odor of old socks
Children gagging, people sagging...
Soon it will be gas mask day

[shinblind]

Classic.

Am in awe of your sense of parody.

Thanks X.  Merry Christmas to you.

[Willy]

Fantastic X. Mental images flow when reading your parody especially regarding the stink off the treatment plant. Very funny.