Could women working be part cause of of our society & economic issues?

[Sweater Cows!]

Now to clarify right off the bat, I have nothing against women working.

BUT, back in the old days before women became a common sight in the workplace did we have so many social ills as we do now? I am to young to remember see, everyone who talks about the good old days seems to remember their childhood, not the reality of what it was like for the parents.

I picture  my town, county or state with all  many women home during the day. Home when the kids go to school and home when the kids get home from school.

Knowing where each kid belongs and one house being where kids congregate until dinner, then back out to play till dark.

Knowing which cars belong to what neighbors and their friends or relatives.

Knowing if little joey or sara doesn't go by around 7:30 towards home that somebody should check up on him or call home or to the neighbors to make sure some creep didn't snatch him or her.

Knowing who does and doesn't belong.

Being unafraid to put someone else's child in their place with no concern the kids parent will get pissed at them for disciplining the child.

Taking turns driving the kids to activities thereby taking the go go go pressure off of each of them.

I could go on but I hope you are getting my point.

In the economic arena We have mom and dad Doe with there three little kids. Dad has a good job with insurance, they bought a house they could afford, Mom drives a nice low mileage but not brand new car, they have a second older model car for Dad to drive to work.

In a modern family mom and dad both work but don't make enough to get by very well.
Neither has insurance but they do make enough to keep up with the Joneses.

The older kids have a Playstation 3, the younger a nintendo wii, they have ipod touches(64GB) and lots of other gadgets to keep the kids quiet when they get home at night because they are so exhausted from work and running that they just can't bear to entertain the kids, they need a couple hours of chill out time for themselves before bed.

They are so burned out that they can't discipline the kids. Plus they feel guilty for being gone all day.

Both parents are miserable. The kids are brats because they feel if not neglected at least ignored.

Now here is my question to ponder, Why can't we double what a guy is paid and bring the women home, not where they *belong* but where they can give the best service to the kids and the community.

Mom can get a part time job for some spending money or her own bank account or even for personal satisfaction.

She can work full time if she wants but isn't made to feel like a lesser person or a lazy worthless drain on society because she chooses to stay home and be there for the family.

Once the kids are in school she can add some hours and make a decent living to pack away for her retirement and as a safety net if her husband is abusive and she needs to leave him. If she does leave him he will pay her alimony so she can still be there for the kids. She won't have to live on welfare and drain our country's resources.

If her husband starts running around with another woman the whole community knows and he gets caught. Divorce is unacceptable so he stays on and supports his family, at least until the kids are in college. The family goes to counseling to deal with why the infedelity happened, they have insurance to pay for it.

If the neighborhood kids are over and one misbehaves she won't end up with a lawsuit but will be praised for discipling the little rats.

So do you guys see what I am getting at?

I think part of the reason people are so screwed up is because everybody is miserable because we are being forced out of our natural family roles and into something man-made of ideals.

I have nothing against a woman who wants to work, and think that we should still go to college and get an education, but why should we feel we are nothing if we don't have a full time job that we spend more waking hours at than we do caring for our kids.

Why should we be thought of as lazy and worthless if we don't want to work, but would rather be a stay at home mom. Shouldn't a stay at home mom(or Dad) be the norm and not the exception.

[Willy]

One of the biggest problem is children in day care. I know families that use day care from the time the child is born to way after they start school. Every baby/child needs a parent to raise them not a day care worker. My neighbors are both college grads and both choose to work even though they could easily live on one paycheck. Their children have been raised in day care. Another problem is having children before parents are financial secure, emotionally mature and committed to each other and a life of where the childrens needs come first.

[Angela]

if everyone waited til they were financially secure to have children then I think our population would decrease tenfold.................... you are never financially secure to have children unless you will the Mega Millions or something like that

[Guidothesemipsuedocaptitalistpig]

I know how you feel Angela... However this really is not true. We as Americans hove kind of gotten the Hollywood type message That you can buy love, happiness and the American Fast lane life style. But at some point in our lives we come to an understanding of a thing called Prioritys .
The real truth is if you concentrate on the right things in the right order, The Ameican dream is posible. Granted.. not as fast as many would like it to. As far as being totally secure well no... Even if you do everything right in life you could have a kid then realise you Job just moved to China or you have a child and you learn he is going to cost you a small fortune because he was born with a chronic illness.
I have resently gone through a program by a man by the Name of Dave Ramsey.. He teaches a program called the total money makover which has as its primary facts you do not have to buy anything except possibly a house on credit. And that if you saved between 3-6 monthes of emergancy fund you will realise just how bankruptout culture of credit for all really makes you.
Just a couple fun facts the average Ameican owns credit card companies an amount my Grandfather would have cringed at.

Credit card debt carried by the average American: $8,562.
Total finance charges Americans paid in 2001: $50 billion.
Percent of U.S. households deemed credit worthy by the lending industry: 78%.

Most of those purchases were out of not wanting to wait to save for something like a new T.V but rather buy it today even though on credit paiad off at the average 13-19 percent at minumum monthley payment has you paying 5 times what the set was worth and the kicker is? The T.V. you bought ? Will be broken and in the Dump before you ever pay it off.
I just had to go through the dont do it speach with my daughter wanting to buy a new care just because the car company offered her credit to do so. I finally convinced her a used car one she could pay cash for, not only would cost her less because of interest? but because she could then use the way cheaper liabilty only insurance to drive it. THese were things they used to teach in home economics class in school however as of late I see no evidence they teach common sense at all anymore.
Lets just say you actually saved the 3-6 mos Ramsey says is a good starting point. You could buy in cash a whole new Kitchen assuming everything went bad at once which it probebly wont correct? That kind of rainy day fund would make it so most familys would not go into financial distress just because the Mom had to quit working to deliver her baby. And by staying home she doesnt incur the day care issues, many younger mothers I see around here have.
My wife just made sure as we were desiding where in P.A. to live, we were no closer to the kids with Grandkids than 2 hours so we in our retirment did not incurre a second part time job being low cost day care. That wasnt out idea of a great retirement.
How quikly can the average family save up a basic rainy day fund?? My income is 30k a year we got 6 mos in reserve in 12 monthes.. Did this mean we didnt eat out for a year?? Sure it did but was it worth it being more secure?? Damned straight it was the best thing another person ever convinced me to do. Thanks for your time reading my rather long winded Essay here ..

[Angela]

oh I know Dave very well - believe me our days of using the credit card are long gone - havent used one in over 4yrs - (except old navy & i just turn around and pay it off the same month i happen to use it - which is rarely) We have a emergency fund saved up - more for if the car or something major breaks down or to cover bills until unemployment kicks in or a new job - so now we have been in the process of paying off the one credit card we did use years ago to get our basement fixed - when we bought our house we had the feeling there was a slight water problem the previous owners played it off as a little problem and the home inspector couldnt see it because they "covered it up" by building a raised floor in the basement so u couldnt see the water coming in - anyways we bought the house but offered them $8000 less and they took it - well it took $8500 to waterproof the basement & we are still paying that off so just that & mortgage for us too - but it is so worth it because when we had that bad storm & "flood" a few yrs back, our basement was dry as a bone & our neighbors had water to their rafters because they needed to be waterproof & werent - it was bad - they had to buy all new furance/water heater/dryer/washer cuz insurance didnt cover the "flood" - but now we may sell just to get something cheaper & try to save more $$

[Guidothesemipsuedocaptitalistpig]

Very good post RJE. for the Record I was a stay at home dad for many years as my Wife was able to earn much more than myself for a period of time.
But as a stay at home day I enabled us to utilise things like no second car ( thus no car insurance ) I cooked ,thus no Mcdonalds runs after work to save time.
But many younger couples never get a chance to mature (before they pop out kids) to be able to make good desisions about thier life choices. They also seem to never be coached by either school, That would be a liberal no no, as your getting involved in someones rights to be a heathen.
What we have now is the federal government trying to get involved in a Federal fix for a individual growth and development problems. With a money spending solution not adressing the real issues.

[Sweater Cows!]

"They also seem to never be coached by either school, That would be a liberal no no, as your getting involved in someones rights to be a heathen.
What we have now is the federal government trying to get involved in a Federal fix for a individual growth and development problems. With a money spending solution not adressing the real issues."guido

Ya kind of lost me here guido. Coached in what? as in you said"coached by either' being either who (two entities) like either A or B. Like by school in ??what?? and by who else in ??what??.

I am sure it's a phrasing thing but that last little bit left me hanging for what you were meaning.

[Guidothesemipsuedocaptitalistpig]

Oh sorry Shiela.. I need to proof read better. The A or B your correct ..A) would be basic home economics classes at school .Many do not cover anything as controversial as saving to afford things you may need in the future, only how to budget what you make right this minute. B) would be by parents who had to live through the facts of starting out a family too early or haveing a child or over spending thus relying on the government for assistance latter. Or even C) A government who by exsample thinks you can borrow your way out of a depression. None of these are good lessons for our future.

[Guidothesemipsuedocaptitalistpig]

Did I do better this time Sheila? :)

[AQUAMAN]

Nice post on Dave Ramsay Guido. We must be getting old, because 99% of what Ramsay says is correct, imho. Young people turn it off, before they even get a good listen mostly. They should be forced by parents to listen to him for one full show, to give it a chance to sink in. Sad, most callers to his show are in dire financial straits, having loans, credit card balances, mortgages, car payments, and the like into the hundreds of thousands of dollars, when they earn nothing of consequence. Then they go to the new movies, malls, and eat out all the time and wonder why no money. The rest of the callers have shown his program and books work, and are living a new improved life as a result, one they never dreamed existed. Most of his advice is simple: restraint, cut up credit cards, spend money wisely, like there's no tommorow. Thanks.