A Personal Recollection of a Young Woman that Died too Soon

[XLFD]

Young people die every day, some doing some very heroic things, others as the victims of an accident or crime, some by their own hands, some due to slow effects of diseases.  It's difficult to grasp what effect those deaths have on the parents, other relatives, and other young friends and siblings of the deceased, until you actually experience it.  I have recently experienced it, and would not recommend it.

Victoria Adams (aka Vikki) died on November 6, 2012.  She was visiting relatives in Scottville, went to bed, and noticed to be in duress that morning.  She had been healthy, vibrant and optimistic the previous week.  She was about to vote in her first election ever, had already brought tickets to the new "Twilight" movie, had a lot of money coming to her for babysitting, as well as being only weeks away of seeing a long-distance romance she had developed over the year who was coming to town. 

 

Her mother called 911, started CPR.

Despite her mother's efforts and the efforts of the paramedics and the Scottville First Responders and eventually the hospital emergency room staff, she never again was responsive and was pronounced dead an hour and a half later.  The coroner would later tell us that it was likely she died from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, due to the large size of her heart.  Everyone that knew her knew that she had a big heart, but until this day, nobody knew that it would lead to her demise.

I first met Vikki on her fourth birthday at Ludington State Park in 1995.  I was working out there as a seasonal ranger, her mother was working on winning over the heart of a seasonal ranger.  Six days later, I was nearly killed by a drunk driver who plowed into the ranger booth, and in the months of convalescence that followed. I was regularly visited by Vikki, her sister Candace, and her mother.  Their family was going through rougher times than I was, and by the time I was able to walk on my own once again, we had adopted each other.

I could never claim to be Vikki's father, since I had only met her mother earlier that year, but she very quickly labelled me as her daddy, a name I was uneasy with at first.  Her own father had a troubled life, and recent attempts to bandage that filial relationship have mostly failed.  Throughout the years, I tried to be there for her in good and bad times, sometimes with limited success, but her view of me as her "daddy" remained.

Though I wasn't there until she was four, I grew to regard her as my daughter in all matters, with unmistakable fatherly pride and concern over what she did in the next seventeen years of her life.  I may not be related by blood, but through our shared life experiences, our interacting and learning from each other, I felt a bond that may be as strong as actual fatherhood.  A bond that breaks the heart, when that bond is broken by an unexpected death, and the knowledge that I will never see her once again on this earth, or see what kind of woman she would have become if she were to have lived a full life.  

So she will never get that opportunity to vote, which doubly hurts because she had planned on voting like her papa; she will never see "Twilight:  Breaking Dawn 2" because Heaven doesn't show lame vampire-werewolf movies; she will never see her beau come in from Arkansas who was extremely smitten by her real-ness, unless she looks down on her funeral.  And she will never experience half of the things her mother and I experienced.  Which unfortunately includes losing a beloved flower before it had time to fully bloom. 

Many of our best experiences together happened without the benefit of a camera around, so I will forego those for my own personal enjoyment.  But here are some of the photos I have of Vikki, and some brief remembrances:

This was taken around when she was four, when she had the upright ponytail and the tendency to pronounce the "s" sound as the "t" sound in her talking.  It was so cute, and she was such a bundle of energy and had that huge smile.

This pumpkin-themed shot shows us having fun in the fall.  She had always enjoyed getting dressed up for Halloween and going trick or treating.  She had done this with her much younger sister and two other kids just six days before she passed on.

This studio picture taken when she was around eight, can't help but get my tear ducts aflowing since her departure.  She looks calm, peaceful and composed just like one thinks an angel should be. 

Her mother took her picture when she was changing out of her clothes at Buttersville Campgrounds, where we celebrated her 9th birthday.  She got her first bicycle that wasn't a hand-me-down on that birthday, a boy's bike selected by her during her tomboy phase.

It was always a fight to get to the couch first when we checked out the latest flick.  Vikki always liked Disney movies and the occasional horror movie.

If you weren't aware, Vikki always had a wide smile, but this shows her stretching that smile to the limits to accomodate a coaster.

The arrival of her younger sister when she was eleven saw her take on a new role, though she still often acted like a youngest child, enjoying Easter egg hunts and baskets up through her last Easter.

But little Vikki grew up more and more each year, and her early teen years had its share of problems from external forces she had no control over, some that I had no control over.  Through it all, she showed incredible inner strength.

But she always had her share of fun.  Here she shows the benefits of having a big mouth, when she bests her friend Sherry in a game of "Catch the Cheese Cube in Your Mouth".

And when she graduated from Ludington High school in 2010, she had a little problem with that tassel dangling in front of her.

And whether it be a stint at posing to be a firefighter...

Or to be America's Next Top Model, she will always stand out as being greatly loved by those around her, and cherished for all the times she helped others whether it be to lend a hand or participate in fund-raising events, like the Relay for Life that she got involved with shortly after her Aunt's death due to breast cancer.  I have not the artisanship or the financial wherewithal to build a lasting monument to the memory of Victoria, just put down a few words that are insufficient to describe why several folks are going through such grief over her death. 

 

May she live on in our memories and our hearts, and may she  find the peace and tranquility due her for when she wakes up in heaven.  Goodbye for now, my dearest angel.

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[Willy]

Wonderful piece X. Very sad for your loss.

[XLFD]

CLFD, Willy, and In Dulci Jubilo, thanks very much.  Tomorrow, the finality of the whole situation will come again to the forefront, and I hope the family is all able to make it through the day and the coming winter months more fully healed than we are now.

[XLFD]

Thanks to all the well-wishers, family, friends, church members, and others who have met, and were affected by Vikki, for coming to her funeral services today.  Thanks for all who stood up and spoke of your experiences with Vikki in her short life.  Thanks for all Torch members who have passed along their sympathies to me and her mother, and others in her family.  We need all the help we can get in overcoming our grief at this time.