. . . you know gender is a social construct, but have no idea where electricity comes from.
. . . you think the "evil" of Stalinist regimes is overstated and the tyranny of the American regime is never stated enough.
. . . you believe portraying Bush as the Joker is political satire, but portraying Obama as the Joker is racist.
. . . if you believe Glenn Beck is an extremist because Keith Olbermann told you so.
. . . you believe in the separation of Church and State; Mosque and State, not so much.
. . . you believe that hurricanes are caused by people, and that crime is caused by the environment.
. . . you think that treating all people equally, regardless of race, is racist.
. . . you burn tons of carbon to attend a global warming conference that only sanctions the cleanest nation on Earth.
. . . you think everyone would agree with you if they were open minded, and you refuse to listen to any other possibility.
. . . you believe that a mosque should be built at Ground Zero, but Jews shouldn't build apartments in East Jerusalem.
. . . if all your political arguments contain the phrase, "It's Bush's fault."
. . . you believe that Pro-Life violates right of privacy, but you want to tell people they can't eat french fries.
. . . you believe that immersing a crucifix in urine is fine art, but depicting the prophet Mohammed is insensitive.
. . . you spend your day telling people that a border fence can't work, then drive home to your gated community.
. . . you think Sarah Palin was too inexperienced to be VP but that Obama had plenty of experience to be President.
. . . you think the Right needs to be rounded up in camps to prevent them from acting like Nazis.
. . . you think credit card companies are evil when they lend money, and mortgage companies are evil when they don't.
. . . you think the Government should be obsessed with race, but no one else should ever mention it.
. . . you think subsidies are an entitlement, tax cuts are a gift, and liberty is a controlled substance.
. . . you totally hate haters, and wish those violent bastards would just die.
. . . you think Edie Lindsey and Sarah Palin take turns being the devil.
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