A Personal Recollection of a Young Woman that Died too Soon

[XLFD]

Young people die every day, some doing some very heroic things, others as the victims of an accident or crime, some by their own hands, some due to slow effects of diseases.  It's difficult to grasp what effect those deaths have on the parents, other relatives, and other young friends and siblings of the deceased, until you actually experience it.  I have recently experienced it, and would not recommend it.

Victoria Adams (aka Vikki) died on November 6, 2012.  She was visiting relatives in Scottville, went to bed, and noticed to be in duress that morning.  She had been healthy, vibrant and optimistic the previous week.  She was about to vote in her first election ever, had already brought tickets to the new "Twilight" movie, had a lot of money coming to her for babysitting, as well as being only weeks away of seeing a long-distance romance she had developed over the year who was coming to town. 

 

Her mother called 911, started CPR.

Despite her mother's efforts and the efforts of the paramedics and the Scottville First Responders and eventually the hospital emergency room staff, she never again was responsive and was pronounced dead an hour and a half later.  The coroner would later tell us that it was likely she died from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, due to the large size of her heart.  Everyone that knew her knew that she had a big heart, but until this day, nobody knew that it would lead to her demise.

I first met Vikki on her fourth birthday at Ludington State Park in 1995.  I was working out there as a seasonal ranger, her mother was working on winning over the heart of a seasonal ranger.  Six days later, I was nearly killed by a drunk driver who plowed into the ranger booth, and in the months of convalescence that followed. I was regularly visited by Vikki, her sister Candace, and her mother.  Their family was going through rougher times than I was, and by the time I was able to walk on my own once again, we had adopted each other.

I could never claim to be Vikki's father, since I had only met her mother earlier that year, but she very quickly labelled me as her daddy, a name I was uneasy with at first.  Her own father had a troubled life, and recent attempts to bandage that filial relationship have mostly failed.  Throughout the years, I tried to be there for her in good and bad times, sometimes with limited success, but her view of me as her "daddy" remained.

Though I wasn't there until she was four, I grew to regard her as my daughter in all matters, with unmistakable fatherly pride and concern over what she did in the next seventeen years of her life.  I may not be related by blood, but through our shared life experiences, our interacting and learning from each other, I felt a bond that may be as strong as actual fatherhood.  A bond that breaks the heart, when that bond is broken by an unexpected death, and the knowledge that I will never see her once again on this earth, or see what kind of woman she would have become if she were to have lived a full life.  

So she will never get that opportunity to vote, which doubly hurts because she had planned on voting like her papa; she will never see "Twilight:  Breaking Dawn 2" because Heaven doesn't show lame vampire-werewolf movies; she will never see her beau come in from Arkansas who was extremely smitten by her real-ness, unless she looks down on her funeral.  And she will never experience half of the things her mother and I experienced.  Which unfortunately includes losing a beloved flower before it had time to fully bloom. 

Many of our best experiences together happened without the benefit of a camera around, so I will forego those for my own personal enjoyment.  But here are some of the photos I have of Vikki, and some brief remembrances:

This was taken around when she was four, when she had the upright ponytail and the tendency to pronounce the "s" sound as the "t" sound in her talking.  It was so cute, and she was such a bundle of energy and had that huge smile.

This pumpkin-themed shot shows us having fun in the fall.  She had always enjoyed getting dressed up for Halloween and going trick or treating.  She had done this with her much younger sister and two other kids just six days before she passed on.

This studio picture taken when she was around eight, can't help but get my tear ducts aflowing since her departure.  She looks calm, peaceful and composed just like one thinks an angel should be. 

Her mother took her picture when she was changing out of her clothes at Buttersville Campgrounds, where we celebrated her 9th birthday.  She got her first bicycle that wasn't a hand-me-down on that birthday, a boy's bike selected by her during her tomboy phase.

It was always a fight to get to the couch first when we checked out the latest flick.  Vikki always liked Disney movies and the occasional horror movie.

If you weren't aware, Vikki always had a wide smile, but this shows her stretching that smile to the limits to accomodate a coaster.

The arrival of her younger sister when she was eleven saw her take on a new role, though she still often acted like a youngest child, enjoying Easter egg hunts and baskets up through her last Easter.

But little Vikki grew up more and more each year, and her early teen years had its share of problems from external forces she had no control over, some that I had no control over.  Through it all, she showed incredible inner strength.

But she always had her share of fun.  Here she shows the benefits of having a big mouth, when she bests her friend Sherry in a game of "Catch the Cheese Cube in Your Mouth".

And when she graduated from Ludington High school in 2010, she had a little problem with that tassel dangling in front of her.

And whether it be a stint at posing to be a firefighter...

Or to be America's Next Top Model, she will always stand out as being greatly loved by those around her, and cherished for all the times she helped others whether it be to lend a hand or participate in fund-raising events, like the Relay for Life that she got involved with shortly after her Aunt's death due to breast cancer.  I have not the artisanship or the financial wherewithal to build a lasting monument to the memory of Victoria, just put down a few words that are insufficient to describe why several folks are going through such grief over her death. 

 

May she live on in our memories and our hearts, and may she  find the peace and tranquility due her for when she wakes up in heaven.  Goodbye for now, my dearest angel.

Tags:

[Dave]

What a tough thing to have to deal with... not the kind of situation you wish for anyone. She sounds like she was a wonderful young lady and was lucky to have you around to guide her through some of lifes challenges in those formative years.

Not really much more that I can say so I'll simply say to hang in there, in time it will be easier and you'll continue to fondly remember the many good times you had with her.

[AQUAMAN]

A very touching and admirable tribute indeed. What a terrible loss, such a beautiful and vibrant young lady, her whole life just beginning to blossom, and the pictures say thousands of words as to the love she both gave and received. I'm sure Vikki is already flying high with those angels right now. God Bless.

[masonco]

Thank you for posting this. Again what a heartbreak to go through. God must have had a lot of room for those with "big hearts" during the past month. Praying for all of you.

[XLFD]

I almost had to write some sort of tribute to Vikki's memory, before I could write anything else.  Thoughts of her crowd out most others at this time, and putting it to words was the best therapy I could think of, and hopefully clear the way of getting back to the grind of putting out material for the Torch which don't have such a somber tone. 

I haven't even listened to the radio since Tuesday, as half of the songs reminded me of her, and her habit of saying "I like this song" at the beginning of almost every song that came up on the radio.

[XLFD]

A special thanks to those who have passed along their sympathies, offers to help, and well-meant concerns to Vikki's mother, me, or others that were close to Vikki, both before and after this clumsy tribute.  It's still so difficult to believe and accept, but all we can hope for is the pain-ease that comes through time and the belief that she is in a better place and we will eventually see her again.

[Ian Scott]

I'm so sorry for your guy's lost. She was a wonderful and beautiful talented angel that made all of our lives so much better. Thank you so much for writing this it touches my heart very so much deeply. She was amazing blessing to me and made my life so much better. She gave so much joy and happiness to my life and I will forever be thankful for the honor to know her and all that she did for me 

[XLFD]

Thank you, Ian.  Ian was the long distance romance Victoria was about to meet this month.  He happens to be the best friend of the husband of Vikki's best friend of two years, who sadly never got to meet the woman he grew to love over their phone conversations, and was robbed of the chance to meet her later this month.  He now comes a little earlier than planned to attend her funeral.  This guy seems like the type of person you would love to have your daughter fall in love with, and hate to see something like this happen to him. 

[XLFD]

Your actions and words shows that you also have a big heart, Eastwick, though I hope that is just figuratively speaking.  Best of luck on your own health issues.

[CoCap'n]

Thinking of you and your family during this tragic time. I'm sure she knew early on, just as her mother, what an important person you were in their lives and how much you all truly are family. There's something special about a daughter that loves her father. Whether by blood or not, it takes a special man to be a father. I'm so glad she had you in her life and that you loved her. That is a gift that cannot be bought or forced. Thankfully through the eyes of a child your true spirit shown through for her and you accepted her as she accepted you. Something that not everyone has growing up. And to her mom Toni, for supporting that relationship, you're beauty and charachter shine through your daughter. Thank you for sharing this tribute. I'm glad to get a glimps of Vikki and wish I could have met her.

[XLFD]

Me too.

[CLFD]

XLFD,

 

My deep condolences to you and to all of her remaining loved ones.  At 21 years old, she was still a 'baby'.

You will never forget her. Although time will make the pain easier to live with, the pain will never ever go away. Fortunately, the good memories will never go away either, and neither will the love.

You all please take care as best you can.

[In Dulci Jubilo]

I can think of no greater pain than the loss of a child.    None.   My thoughts are with you and your family at this time.   Thank you for posting such a loving tribute.