Donald Trump is Coming to Town

[XLFD]

Over the course of the Ludington Torch, which celebrates its 15th year of existence this December 21st, we have annually paid seasonal homage to area themes. 

 

In the past, we ruined "Away in a Manger" by giving it a Ludington theme: John Shay as a Manager. we mangled the night before Christmas (Twas the Night Before Christmas in Ludington), twisted Charles Dickens classic (A Christmas COL), totally disrupted O Little Town of Bethlehem (O City Council Ludington), and realigned the twelve days of Christmas (The Twelve Days of Ludington Christmas). We turned "The Little Drummer Boy" upside down into The Ludville Plumber Boy to illustrate the lead problem of Ludington in 2016, updated that in 2017 to a spin-off of 'Good King Winceslas', introducing the new and disproved, Lead Queen Winczewski.  Wallace the Brown Nosed Councilor was the go-to in 2019.  

In 2020, we poignantly parodied Governor Whitmer with Gretchen, It's COVID Lies, switching over "Baby, It's Cold Outside".  The last couple years, we recycled two Xmas staples that we used before in a different form to fight the city's deer cull inclinations.  Last year, it was "A Visit from Wildlife Management", which we shared with the city council, and in 2022 it was "School Forest No Place to Shoot Deer" which we shared with the local school board, pleading with officials both times not to cull animals so attached to Christmas celebrations. 

While we may have left one or two of our Christmas creations off, this year, rather than looking at Christmas music to define a bizarre year in Ludington and Scottville politics, we feel the need to expand to perhaps the biggest story of the year:  Donald Trump surviving many unjust trials and tribulations, not to mention assassination attempts, on his way to be elected the 47th President of the United States in grand fashion. 

To herald his arrival at Washington DC in one month to take his oath we humbly offer this rewriting of the classic Christmas hymn "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and naturally switched the title character to the future and former chief executive of this nation.  We meticulously kept the rhythm by maintaining the syllable count of each line of this classic tune and we included the often ignored second verse with fresh lyrics.

The first verse is from the perspective of Joe Biden, while the second is more viewpoint neutral.  With a little more adaptation and soul, we could have used it with the Jackson Five or Mariah Carey version of the song, but we stuck with a more traditional rendition by Tony Bennett.  If you want to sing along, we have provided a video which you can play in the background and sing the new lyrics to.  With all apologies to those who still have their "When we fight, we win" signs still on their front yard.

DONALD TRUMP IS COMING TO TOWN

{VERSE 1}

Your term is all done,

So put up the drones,

Pardon your son,

And get some more loans,

Donald Trump is comin' to town.

He's making a list,

Of orders to pass,

Positions to fill,

Departments to trash.

Donald Trump is comin' to town.

He rudely called you sleepy,

He says that you're too woke,

He knows you've been quite creepy,

When you leave, please take your coke.

Oh, your term is all done,

So put up the drones,

Pardon your son,

And get some more loans,

Donald Trump is comin' to town.

{VERSE 2}

He threw in his hat,

And answered the call,

No tax on tips,

Rebuilding the wall

Donald Trump is coming to town!

Vivek and Tulsi,

Are part of his crew,

Hillbilly Vance,

And RFK two.

Donald Trump is coming to town!

Folks voted in November,

An electoral landslide,

The national popu-lar vote,

Was a mandate you can't hide.

Sooo. . . .

You better watch out,
You better not cry.
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why...
Donald Trump is coming...
Donald Trump is coming...
Donald Trump is coming to town!

[Freedom Seeker]

Excellent cadence and brilliance in lyrics!

[Willy]

Love it. I revisited some of your old gems. Hilarious and creative. You definitely have talent.

[XLFD]

Thanks guys.  This year, I was halfway thinking of doing a version of "It's a Wonderful Life", with the George Bailey character being played by Scottville former Mayor, Marcy Spencer.  The plot would have been inverted and slightly corrupted.  Clarence would not be an aspiring angel, but an interim city manager instead.  I would have been the Mr. Potter character trying to get the COS in order along with other Scottville citizens. 

This would make Spencer sad after losing her power at the last election, eliciting a visit from Clarence.  More complex of a task to bring everything together, so I gave up on it.  Kafka films are hard enough to decipher without any changes.  Since she appears to be back on the commission for two more years, this might come easier next year if she proves to be a thorn under the saddle of progress.